||[Feb. 8th, 2007|09:05 pm]
for those of us 'differently interested'
Title:Pain is all I have|
Fetish: Rape play, pain, bloodplay
Warning: This is first person and really intense unless dominance and pain really get you going you might not want to read this.But it is really good
Pain was the only way I could ever enjoy myself. He taught me that, he took sex and twisted it around, making something wonderful and wholesome, something shared between lovers into something, dirty and dark, painful yet pleasant.
I can feel him if I close my eyes, feel his hard pulsing shaft plunging into my body, it's length pounding against my cervix sending tingles of pleasure through me while shafts of bright pain lanced up my spine.
I remember how I bowed my back for him, eyes closed, mouth forced open, screams pouring through me as I came for him over and over. Sometimes I would beg him to stop but he'd keep going, forcing each shattering orgasm from my body until all I could do was shake and moan.
Sometimes when I look in the mirror I can still see the marks, see the full teeth marks on my neck, my wrists. I shiver at the memory of how when he was slow and loving those little hurts and bursts of pain were what helped me, what made my cunt clench and finally spasm into climax.
I don’t know how to really come without pain.
He let me hurt him, ride him, fuck him.... I only remember the joy of causing him pain, my fingers digging into his throat, a blade whispering across his pale skin bringing forth flashes of crimson. His own groans prompting me, spurring me on to ride him harder, faster until my clitoris and my womanhood ached from the pressure, the rawness of each hard and hurried fuck.
As I closed my mouth around his shaft, choking on my own spit, swallowing down every last inch of his heated flash I would let my nails dig into his thighs, the soft skin of his belly. I would suck him as he thrust deeper, further into my mouth. I remember trying not to bite through such fragile skin as I drew it lightly between my teeth. When I would finish he'd have dozens of half moon circles filled with blood all over him, evidence my nails had been there.
I can't orgasm now without the pain, whether I cause it or someone else does.
I can still feel his lips against mine, soft and warm, his teeth biting me, drawing blood and pitiful moaning sounds from my throat. I quiver as I think about him coming in the middle of night and forcing himself on me, all hot and cold, mean and loving. Shoving his cock into me, stretching me, filling me, pinning me to the bed in a force of dominance and control. He used to make me beg, scream, plead, cry....cry as I came, shouting his name and how much I loved him.
Then he'd cuddle me, stroke my hair and get up....When I concentrate I can smell the tobacco on his breath and clothes, taste it in my mouth, roll it around on my tongue like candy.
Memories are all I have now....when I touch myself or have others touch me, I imagine his fingers, teeth, lips...smell.... The taste and feel of his life's fluid running hot and salty down my throat.
Please understand I wasn't born this way...
Someone who supposedly loved and cherished me made me this way.
The pain is all....all I have.